Amelia Landenberger on – Uncontrollable bodily functions


It can happen. It will happen. It’s happened to me.

The other day I got hit with a classic Thai stomach bug. And I got hit hard.

I’ll spare everyone the details because I’m sure we’re all familiar enough to let our imaginations do the dirty work. Under different circumstances it would have only been unpleasant and awkward. But because I hadn’t been taking proper care of myself- not sleeping enough, not drinking enough water, and not having eaten much that day- it turned out to be a more serious problem then it should have been.

Long story short I ended up laying on the floor of a public restroom, almost unconcious, wearing nothing but my bra and underwear, and covered in sweat and whatever -I try to not think- was on that bathroom floor. I couldn’t move but I couldn’t stay there. If it hadn’t been so scary, it could have been comically pathetic.

We ended up calling an ambulance as the very sweet Thai women working there hovered nervously over us making sure I had everything I needed. Her also very sweet daughter apparently offered me her doll to make me feel better – how frieken sweet!

Everything ended up just fine. We made it to the hospital and a blur of Thai doctors and nurses poked and prodded me as I tried, without real success to get sleep on the uncomfortable hospital bed. By around 11 we found our way back to our comfortable new hotel -to treat ourselves- and I slept through the night.

Despite it being easily the worst night of my trip so far I can proudly say that I was able to find multiple silver linings in the mess. First of which being that, even covered in sweat and who knows what else and barely conscious on the floor, my lovely, amazing, hilarious, supporting friends and I were able to find the comedy in the situation. Between the fear and exhaustion that we all experienced that night we were able to laugh, to take photos, and to make poop jokes that most might have thought to be a little too soon to be appropriate.

The second is along the same vein. That however terrible I felt that night, I am sure I would not made it through without my lovely, amazing, hilarious, supporting friends Izze and Evin there doing essentially everything for me.

The next day was Mother’s Day and I got to talk for a good long while with my mama back home who, especially after that night, I miss terribly. I’m feeling very weary of traveling, of the heat in Thailand, and being away from home. But to make up for it, I have amazing travel companions and we help each other, we mom each other, and we make each other laugh no matter what shit circumstances we’re handed. (Pun intended?)


p.s. The responsible message to take away from this would probably be to drink enough water!